Monday 21 May 2012

Orbital - the old me

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Way back in October last year my little Sister called me to tell me that Orbital would be playing at the Corn Exchange in Cambridge and asked if I would like to go, we had been to see them several times before and knew it was a guaranteed good night out.  The old outgoing me really wanted to go but the shy tired me was screaming NNOooooo!  After a few palpatations I went ahead and said yes knowing that I could pull out if I wanted to and forgot all about it.

Fast forward to the bank holiday Monday we had in April and the evening had arrived.  I had spent days before worrying about if I had the confidence and energy to go whilst also pondering on what had happened to the old me who used to go out most weekends.

When I was a child I was always very shy, I was a very happy child but shy with it.  My Mum used to make me go to several clubs to try and give me more confidence and it did work a little but that shy me was still there.  I went on to Secondary School where I was bullied for quite some time but managed to get through that and meet some lovely thuggish friends who used to protect me :-)  Nothing like having your own bouncers to give you a little more confidence :-)  Fast forward a few more years and I had met my future husband and was out pubbing and clubbing it with our mates most weekends,  I got a fab job that I didn't even dream I would get and was feeling a whole new level of confidence.

I had my first child in my mid 20s, life stayed very similar to how it had ever been at this point but when I had my second child 19 months later I think this is when my confidence started to reduce and the old shy me returned.  Looking back it was probably tiredness, the reduced amount of socialising and lots of new scary experiences like the little ones starting pre-school, then school etc that reverted me back (goodness you really do feel the tension of new things like that for your children don't you).    I could feel the old me coming back a bit when my youngest was about 4 but then fell pregnant with my littlest one.  Exhaustion set in again and 4+ years on she is only just showing signs of sleeping through so I am just about seeing signs of the past, confident me returning .

Goodness, sorry I digressed a lot there ! The night before the concert my middle child was ill and spend all night in our bed with tummy pains, after many wakings and getting up at 1am running a bath for her etc we finally got a little sleep.  The day of the concert I really wasn't sure if I was going to be able to go , I was so tired and felt sick with nerves and exhaustion.  The time ticked by and it was time to get ready, I could do it, no I couldn't  - I was constantly struggling with myself to push myself to go.   I got in the car and started to drive there listening to an Orbital CD to rev me up.  Ooohhh I was getting excited, the old me was coming back :-)  I walked to meet my sister who gave me a big hug and we went in to meet her mates and my Uncle and Cousin - the vibe was great and the old me was back.  After some comical warm up lunges in the entrance hall we went to find our spot, we walked towards the stage, then further towards the stage and then we got to the front - eeekk could I cope with a mosh pit :-s

The lights dimmed, two men with head lights (so they can see their decks) arrived on stage, the crowd cheered and the music slowly started building up until we could feel the base giving us chest compressions.  I could feel every hair on my face move in time with the music (didn't know I had such a hairy face!), never before have I experienced such a heavy base. At this point my Sister asked if I was OK or did I want to move back (we were standing right next the the 7ft high speakers :-)), thinking she was just worrying about me and not wanting to ruin her fun I said I was fine.    We then did a toilet visit at which point she told me she really wanted to move as the base was making her feel sick - I thought I was just being uncool  feeling the same way :-)

We moved further back in the crowd and found a fab dancing spot.  One young women seemed to be rather annoyed at our new dancing spot and dropped a drink down my sis and kept punching me in the back whilst dancing.   A peak in the music and a pogo style dance move whilst moving back slightly seemed to sort that issue out and she moved - hhmm I hope her toes weren't too bruised ;-)  I danced for 2 hours non stop - the old me was well and truly back that night  :-)  I wish I had done more warm ups now, I pulled muscles I didn't even know I had lol.  I am looking forward to meeting the new/old me more often as time moves on and little Sweetpea begins to finally sleep better.

PS Any of my mates reading this will think I am writing about another person :-) I am not shy in most of my every day life but when I get invited out to events the old shy me pops up and I have a real battle with her :-)  Aren't humans funny creatures :-) x

If you have never heard of Oribital here is one of their tracks :