Thursday, 6 March 2014

Why did no one warn me Motherhood was so painful ?????

When you are about to have a baby you hear all the horror stories of birth, sleepless nights, colic etc etc ....... your little bundle of joy arrives and you wish for them to work out feeding, you wish for them to sleep through, you wish for them to take their first steps.

Fast forward to child number 3 and I found myself wishing she wouldn't stop feeding from me, wishing I could see her at 2am in the morning, wishing she would stay by my side for eternity and not walk away.  Time seems to be slipping away .......

Last September seemed to take my feelings to a higher level.  My little one was just finding her feet in Primary School, my eldest was already at Secondary School and my gorgeous middle child was taking the big step into the Secondary School system.  She was nervous, upset and angy that I was making her go there.  She doesn't want to grow up, and to be honest I don't want her to either.

I filled our Summer with visits to lovely outside spaces to try and calm her.

Many happy hours spent in National Trust gardens and local forests.

Exploring, learning, enjoying the calming nature of these large open spaces.

We tried to teach my little one to cycle without stabilisers ... another stepping stone in growing up.   Eldest Sweetpea who is growing up far too quickly for my liking took over with his DIY skills taking the stabiliser wheels off.

Middle Sweetpea supported her little Sister to try this new challenge.

She wasn't successful this time but her time will come, is it wrong that I was secretly pleased ??? Another step held back, just for a little while.

Little Sweetpea lost two of her front teeth, one came out with the help of her older Brother (his diy skills again !) when he accidently knocked an already wobbly tooth out.  The toothfairy made it all seem better with the delivery of some special fairy dust to help ease the shock.  Another step in growing up had been taken.

We went on family outings in Katie Camper ....... adored by all, even with her backfiring ways, she certainly takes our mind off how fast time running is away.

And then the day came, the scary first day at big big big School ........ I held her hand tightly on the walk to school, she was nervous, scared, sad.  The bus arrived and I watched as the clock hands slowly slowly moved round towards home time.  Her first time on a big bus on her own without me, he first time facing a school she had never been to without me by her side.    Little Sweetpea and I rushed to the bus stop to collect her and were so happy to see her smiling face when she came off the bus.  She had done it, all on her own, without her family by her side.  

Another step towards her growing up ............ I am not sure I like it :-(  I must confess to finding the pain of them growing up hard to deal with sometimes , can someone please help me halt time?

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  1. I know - I'm feeling just this. Whilst outwardly I'm nurturing and encouraging my children into independent beings there is this internal aching as I just want to hold them close and stop the next step! My eldest (14) has announced this week that he has a girlfriend (his first) and this has been more of an emotional jolt to me than when he started school. It has emphasised the fact that he is rapidly becoming and adult and I have to admit (shamefully) that I am not just pained but actually jealous that I am no longer the centre of his world. I'm so proud of him and all he is becoming but I so miss my little boy. I not only want to halt time but rewind it too xxx

  2. Ah gosh - how I know that feeling!!! Mine are now (as of yesterday!!) 8 and 5, and oh so grown up - time races by every day and everyday my 8 year old takes more steps towards independence - the idea of high school sounds so scary but I know It'll come round faster than I'd like!!! Hugs Clair x

  3. Gosh I feel your pain, my babies are now nearly 22 and 19! it shocks me to even write their ages down! but they will always be our babies. You are a fabulous and caring mummy and your sweet peas will have so many beautiful memories of their wonderful childhood.
    wishing you a wonderful weekend with your sweethearts
    love Jooles x x x

    P.S thank you for your very sweet comment, It's seems there are lots of us out there! x

  4. What a lovely, thought provoking and sad blog entry. I have 3 babies now too, a newborn, a 2 year old and a soon to be 4 year old. I forget at times when I am busy that my eldest boy is still only a baby and that expecting him to help me is not what a young child thinks about. I am going to endevour to treat him like a big boy but also my special boy at the same time. Thank you for reminding me how precious our time and memories are! :-)

  5. Wouldn't it be great to slow down time Zoe and stay in the perfect moment forever? :-) ..Time definitely flies by way too fast these girls are at university and I can hardly still believe it!....I'm definitely on a mission to make my days last longer and enjoy each and every day...
    Happy Wednesday,
    Susan x

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